When Did Life Become Something We Had to Get Through

When Did Life Become Something We Had to Get Through?

I wonder sometimes when life became so much about getting through things.

Getting through Monday. Getting through the working week. Getting through the school run, the bills, the shopping, the washing, the appointments and everything else that somehow needs doing before we can finally sit down.

Then we get to Friday and say, “Thank God for that.”

Sunday comes around and, before it's even finished, we're thinking about Monday again.

And somewhere amongst all of that, we're supposed to be living.

I don't think most of us consciously choose to live this way. I think it just happens.

Life gets busy. Responsibilities grow. Other people need things from us. There are mortgages or rent to pay, families to look after, jobs that have to be done and problems that don't conveniently wait until we've got the energy to deal with them.

So we become very good at functioning.

We get up when the alarm goes off. We go to work. We answer “I'm fine” when somebody asks. We do what needs doing.

And being able to do that is often seen as a sign that everything is okay.

But functioning and being okay aren't necessarily the same thing.

You can be doing everything you're supposed to do and still feel as though you're somehow missing from your own life.

I think that's something we don't talk about very much.

We tend to imagine that people seek counselling because something dramatic has happened. Sometimes that's true.

But sometimes there isn't a crisis.

Sometimes there's simply a feeling that life has become smaller than it used to be.

The things you once enjoyed don't seem to happen anymore. The people you love are still there, but perhaps you're not as present with them as you'd like to be. You can't remember the last time you did something simply because you wanted to rather than because it needed doing.

And if somebody asked what was wrong, you might genuinely struggle to answer.

Nothing, really.

And yet…something doesn't feel quite right.

Maybe that's worth listening to.

Because I don't think we're meant to spend our lives permanently waiting for the next weekend, the next holiday or some imaginary point in the future when everything finally settles down.

There will probably always be something that needs doing.

Perhaps the more important question is whether, amongst everything that needs doing, there is still some room for you.

Not the employee.

Not the parent, partner, son, daughter, carer or person everybody relies upon.

Just you.

What makes you laugh? What makes you interested? Who do you enjoy being around? When do you feel most like yourself?

They sound like simple questions.

I'm not sure they always have simple answers.

But perhaps every now and again it's worth asking them.

Because life shouldn't only be something we get through.

It should occasionally be somewhere we actually are.

Kieran

Trust Counselling