Perceptions of Counselling

Perceptions of counselling — what it really involves (and why it might be the bravest thing you do)

Counselling can carry a lot of assumptions before someone ever walks through the door. Some people believe it’s a waste of time. Others think they should just “get on with it”, while many wonder how simply talking about things could possibly help.

If any of that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

So I wanted to explain what counselling with me actually looks like, what it isn’t, and what you can expect if you decide to give it a try.

Common myths — and the real picture

“Counselling is a waste of time.”

Counselling isn’t about quick fixes or having a conversation for the sake of it. It gives you the time and space to slow things down, understand what is happening for you and begin to recognise patterns that may be keeping you stuck.

Sometimes simply having the space to think and talk openly can help things begin to make more sense.

“I should just get on with it.”

Many of us have learnt to cope by putting our feelings to one side and carrying on. Sometimes that works — until it doesn't.

When anxiety, grief, stress, low mood, relationship difficulties or other problems continue to weigh on you, trying harder to ignore them doesn't necessarily make them disappear.

Asking for help isn't giving up. Sometimes it's the first step towards things beginning to change.

“Talking won't help.”

There's a big difference between talking and being truly heard.

Friends and family can be incredibly supportive, but they naturally have their own feelings, opinions and experiences. Counselling gives you a space that is entirely yours.

You can talk without worrying about upsetting someone, being judged or being told what you “should” do.

And sometimes saying something out loud to somebody who is really listening allows you to understand it differently yourself.

What I will — and won't — do

One of the misconceptions about counselling is that a counsellor will tell you how to fix your life.

That's not how I work.

I won't tell you what to do. You know your life better than anyone else. My role isn't to give you instructions or pretend that I have all the answers.

I will listen without judgement. Whatever has brought you to counselling, you should be able to talk about it honestly.

We'll explore things together. We can look at what you're experiencing, where some of those feelings or patterns may have come from, and what might help you move forward.

At times I may gently challenge something, offer another way of looking at it, or introduce ideas and techniques that might help. But counselling remains something we do together.

What does a counselling session actually feel like?

If you've never had counselling before, it's completely understandable to wonder what happens when you arrive.

You don't need to prepare a speech.

You don't need to know exactly what's wrong.

And you certainly don't need to have worked out where to begin.

We can start with what has brought you to counselling and take things from there.

You can talk at your own pace, and we can gradually explore what you would like to be different in your life.

My approach is integrative, which means I can draw on different ways of working depending on you and what you need. My foundation is person-centred counselling, alongside elements of CBT and Transactional Analysis.

But you don't need to understand any of those terms to come to counselling.

The important part is that the counselling fits you, rather than expecting you to fit a particular therapy.

Could counselling help me?

You don't need to be at breaking point to see a counsellor.

People come to counselling for all sorts of reasons. You might be experiencing anxiety, stress, low mood, anger, relationship difficulties, loss, low self-esteem or simply a feeling that something isn't quite right.

You might not even know exactly what the problem is.

Sometimes people simply say:

“I don't feel like myself anymore.”

That's enough of a place to start.

Why being heard matters

Many of us become very good at saying, “I'm fine.”

We carry on working. We look after other people. We deal with whatever needs dealing with.

And underneath it all, we may be struggling.

Having somewhere you don't have to pretend can be incredibly powerful.

Being properly heard can reduce that sense of carrying everything alone. It can help you understand your thoughts and feelings more clearly and give you the space to decide what you want rather than simply reacting to what life throws at you.

Counselling doesn't mean somebody else taking control of your life.

Quite often, it's about helping you regain it.

Thinking about counselling?

Taking that first step can feel surprisingly difficult, particularly if you're someone who is used to dealing with things yourself.

You don't have to commit to counselling simply because you contact me.

I offer a free 15-minute introductory call, where we can have a brief chat about what has brought you to counselling, you can ask any questions you have, and we can see whether working together feels right for you.

I offer face-to-face counselling in Stockport as well as online sessions.

You don't need to know exactly what to say.

You just need somewhere to begin.

You are enough, exactly as you are today. If that feels difficult to believe right now, perhaps we can start there.